Making Hay In My Shitty CPA! (Part 1)

Shutting Their Shit Down!

It was that time of year again. Yet another one of their bi-annual pomp-and-ceremony tick-box Care Programme Approach (CPA) meetings. CPA’s are tedious affairs because they are diplomatic opportunities for these Wile E. Coyote’s to try and snare me, as the Roadrunner. But that’s their goal. To goad me into reacting rather than responding so they can have their gotcha moment. Not gonna happen!

“Morning,” came a chorus of Dr. X, Nurse Y and Mandy.

“Morning,” I said.

“Morning, Billy,” said Charles via Nurse Y’s laptop on Zoom.

“How are you doing Charles?” I said.

“I’m okay,” said Charles.

“Um, as far as this meeting is concerned this will be brief. No presentation today, it's an opportunity to just take stock and reflect as far as I'm concerned. I guess it's just a case of reflections, um Mandy, any reflections?” I said.

For context, Mandy is the Supported Housing Facility Services Manager in which I reside.

“Not really, obviously we only see you in passing, really, don't we? So it's quite hard for me to really add much to that if I’m being honest. We don't do support [for you]. Apart from when you come to the office, you’ll have a bit of chat with us. As far as we can see, everything is okay with you. But yeah, apart from that, I probably haven't got much to add in that respect. As awful as that sounds,” said Mandy.

“That's okay,” I said.

Translation: we’d like you, as a fiftysomething man, to let us Nanny you but we can’t force you to so nothing!

“Dr X?” I said.

“Um, what I suppose is that the last six months have been difficult in some ways,” said Dr. X.

“Difficult?” I said.

What kind of snowflakery is this upon me? This guy clearly has a problem with robust, respectful discourse. Embarrassing!

“Yeah, in terms of um I mean I’m talking from my own perspective in reflections, in terms of, you know, our therapeutic relationship, I would say, they've been a bit more challenging. Um I’m obviously reading your Substacks as well, um and that, you know, and there are challenges in there as well. I think the focus for yourself has clearly moved to the idea of Psychiatry being in the wrong, if you see what I mean, in misrepresenting um your situation, and I think last time I um you expressed the view that, um, I hadn't really um -, I think your ask was for me to put a case together, if you like, for why the Psychiatry was valid in itself and mental health treatment was valid um so, and as I think we started, that it's quite a difficult ask, but I understand why you're saying that I think it's as valid an ask as let's discuss how that you, you know, what happened in your career, Mental Health wise. So I think it's about sort of reformulating that, as far as I'm concerned, and I suppose that there's also, and I'm not involved in that your request, your complaint to change your RC and I don’t want to get involved in that, I don't know if there's been a resolution.” said Dr. X.

“Not as far as I'm aware yet. No correspondence on the matter, um, they gave themself 28 working days. That time hasn't elapsed yet, so on that basis -,” I said.

Actually it’s thirty working days but I forgive myself for that faux pas.

“So, in that sense, we don't know what the future holds and I'm gonna sort of -, I think that I can't do anything else that works on the basis that we've got an ongoing relationship, if you see what I mean. Um I can't assume that I will be replaced and but it may happen, I think we've already talked about that I, you know, completely um neutral on the issue. Um and I suppose that that's probably the only big thing and and that we're gonna see in the next six months what happens with that. And, you know, either the leaving or working through that kind of issue, you know? I think that covers it really,” said Dr. X.

“Sure, uh, Nurse Y?” I said.

“Um, I concur with a lot of the stuff Dr. Pyott said about the relationship being contracted at the moment, um hopefully moving forward that can sort itself out a little bit more,” said Nurse Y.

The impudence of her! Micro-aggressions abound! Like that mud will stick. Truly pathetic gaming of the system.

“Um I think since you've been discharged, you've stuck to your conditions and things like that, which I think it's really good. Um where are you at on the housing -, apply for housing and things?” said Nurse Y.

“Um it's ongoing. I've um -, last month I put a bid in on a property and I’m waiting to hear back. Um the prospects aren't um the most positive simply because I'm, category wise, not seen to be in dire need,” I said.

“You’re not a priority,” said Nurse Y.

“Yeah, indeed. So um if something positive happens, great, but I won't hold my breath at this juncture,” I said.

“Let us know though won’t you?” said Nurse Y.

“Sure, yeah.. I mean, for me, it's not as fraught or as fractious as you might think it is -,” I said.

“Good!” Nurse Y interjected.

Time to diplomatically shut this shit down!

“In as far as the working relationship is concerned. I, myself, am fairly neutral on the whole, um nature of our therapeutic relationship. So um I don't see the fractiousness that you might see within the bounds of our therapeutic relationship, um it's simply a case of uh of discourse and it's also a case of uh differing opinions and the reality is it can't be fractious because we're doing it -, we're doing this discourse respectfully. So it is what it is. It's not that complicated. As for Psychiatry itself, um I am not, as I've said before, anti-psychiatry, um what I am is in favor of the reform of Psychiatry. That is how I perceive the necessity for change in regards to um the nature of the care that is afforded to me so um that is what I debate for whenever we meet essentially. It's what is and so and I'm not the only one, there are thousands of others who want to see the reform that aren't necessarily wanting to see Psychiatry um you know, um squashed or exterminated for want of a better word. It is literally a case of it needs to be more progressive, and that is what it is not currently. Charles, um, any opinions, any wisdom that you would like to offer?” I said.

Their nudges increasingly lack potency as I am mindful of their microaggressions these days. The ability to socially undermine me isn’t accessible any more. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. I see the Matrix clearly.

As ever, all views are appreciated, feel free to let me know how you feel in the comments.